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Resolutions Don't Work, Do This Instead
Resolutions don’t work.
I’ll prove it.
If they did, you’d be doing them already.
So how do you change?
Do what works, not what you feel should work.
If you wanted to help a group of people what would you do?
Change their environment.
Make it easy.
Rewards.
Positive peer pressure.
Accountability.
Tracking.
Reminders.
Do that for yourself.
Decisions: Making it Practical 💪
As mentioned, deciding works better than just wanting - even wanting strongly.
There are unlimited ways to make something a must. Here are a few:
Accountability buddy (check-ins with a peer) or coach, like a personal trainer.
Taking on a role/job that you won’t feel comfortable quitting from.
Public commitment (announce your goal to friends or community).
Join a group with shared standards (learning, exercise, public speaking, volunteering).
Role model pressure (mentoring someone, setting example for your kids).
The idea is anything that makes you feel ‘I have no choice.’
Next week we’ll explain how to use this to create lasting change.
Tweak this to Access a Superpower
One of the most talked-about powers is Desire. It truly can be jet fuel for success.
However, Scott Adams (great writer) argues that deciding is far more powerful. Desire has an inherent weakness: You are dependent on fluctuating willpower.
Deciding is when you commit that no matter what, you are doing x. This removes decision making and gives you the power to overcome obstacles. It won’t be easy, but now you’re just following your decision.
You’ve already decided and you’ve accessed a superpower.
How to be even more effective ✔️
So, you identified (see previous post) the 20% that matters. Now what?
80/20 it (sorry, there’s no escape):
The few frustrations casing most of the headaches → which aspects to tackle?
The skills/knowledge that have an outsize impact → the essential parts?
The top 1–2 actions each day that are most important → the most effective tools?
The workouts/food that give 80% of the benefits → the strategies to set yourself up for success?
The 20% of issues that cause the majority of relationship tension → What times/situations is it most common?
The junk that causes 80% of the mess → best ways to prevent?
P.S. How do you 80/20?
Less Work ➡️ Better Results
This is your reminder to use the 80/20 rule.
The rule states that the majority of outcomes come from a minority of inputs.
Use it to identify:
The causes of most frustrations/issues
The skills/knowledge that have an outsize impact
The 20% of concepts that explain 80% of the subject
The top 1–2 actions each day that are most important
The workouts/food that give 80% of the benefits
The 20% of issues that cause the majority of relationship tension
The junk that causes 80% of the mess
The areas most likely to have the most problems
Lightning ️ Success ⚡️
You can’t control results. You often can’t predict great opportunities. Promotions, clients, jobs, ventures, connections, often come from unexpected places and times. If your focus is on chasing outcomes, you’ll ride a constant roller coaster of hope and disappointment.
Invest your energy in the one thing you can control: consistently doing solid work. Over time, this builds your skills and keeps you ready to capitalize on opportunities—whether it’s tomorrow or three years from now.
I’ve seen success compared to getting struck by lightning. You can’t control it, but going to hilltops during storms with lightning rods tilts the odds in your favor.
P = Patron
The third leg of your network is a Patron.
A patron is not the same as a Mentor.
While a Mentor advises, a patron advocates, connects, or even gives you a job. It’s that manager/business owner/ connected person you know. (Obviously the same person can be both a patron and a mentor.)
I know you’re thinking: “I’ll take a few patrons, please!” but it’s a relationship you develop over time. Make the connection, often by asking for advice. Show you’re someone who wants to grow, someone worthy of help. Don’t be annoying. Give back and pay it forward. Over time they’ll be happy to help you.
Networking M.A.P. 🤝 Part II
A = Allies
Allies are people who help each other. There are always ways: referrals, ideas, advice, connections, assistance.
If allies are so important, how do you get them?
By being one.
Be someone who helps, refers, advises and connects people. This will create mutually beneficial relationships.
Pro Tip: Don’t wait around for reciprocation. Help because a) it’s a good thing to do and b) when you give a lot, over the long term, you will receive a lot too. Someone who gives, receives - just don’t expect it to come in a certain way/from a certain person/ within a certain time.
My Networking M.A.P. 🧭
To succeed, you need a M.A.P: Mentors, Allies & Patrons.
Let’s break this down, covering mentors this week and the others in the coming posts.
One of the best pieces of advice I got from a few mentors: if you want advice on something, find someone skilled at it. They don’t have to be the best - just good.
How? Ask for an introduction or reach out in a socially appropriate way. Say that you would really appreciate advice on xyz. Give them an ‘out’ (e.g. “I totally understand if this isn’t a good time / possible)” so there’s no pressure and make it clear that you won’t be a drain on their time and energy.
Also, reciprocate in any way you can. There are connections, skills, or even free time that you can leverage to help them.
If you have multiple mentors with different areas of expertise, you’ll be a a large advantage in the workplace.
2 Steps to Building a Network
“Your network is your net worth.”
If connections are so important, how do you make them?
Here’s 2 steps:
Reach out. It will feel uncomfortable, but so do job interviews. A strong network is more important than any interview.
Reach out to a potential mentor or get an introduction. Ask for advice. Show that you respect their time. Which leads to…
Be nice. Have good manners. Be a good audience. Show appreciation. Help in any way you’re able.
Do these 2 things and you’ll be on your way.
How to Do Your Dream Job Now - and Later
It’s easy to see your first job as a waiting room for the “real” one.
But the only way to get there is to do your current job well. You won’t be promoted if you’re not doing good work.
Second, look for skills you can bring to your dream job. Even if the tasks are unrelated, there are always skills — communication, time management, computer skills — that you can learn. Being proactive turns any job into a skills-building opportunity.
Third, grab small opportunities to do your dream job now. If you want to lead, volunteer to train a new hire. If you want to get into marketing, offer to work on a campaign. If you aspire to advise clients, help them in ways you’re able.
Your current job won’t hold you back — if you won’t let it.
Make the most of it.
Focus = Growth
Last week we said: when you’re starting something new, focus is everything.
Here are some examples:
I’d rather get really good at handling customer calls than constantly ask to “help with marketing,” before mastering the basics (my actual job).
I’d rather stay late once a week to learn my company’s systems than use that time to brainstorm a side hustle.
I’d rather consistently follow up with clients and be known as reliable than jump around looking for something interesting.
This will make you a source of certainty, aside from being really good at your job.
Learn skills in less time
When you're learning something new—like starting a new job or picking up a new skill—focus is everything.
Yes, there's a time for developing other skills. But at the beginning, the most important thing is to get good what you're doing. That only happens through consistent, focused effort.
For example: I’d rather take an unpaid opportunity in my industry than a paid part-time job in something unrelated (unless I really need the money). Why? Because one helps me build skills, experience, and relationships that compound. The other distracts me.
I’d rather spend time shadowing someone in my industry than driving for Uber. One moves me forward. The other just moves me around (sorry).
Mastery comes from focus. Diversification can wait.
Next week we’ll dive into some examples.
The Most Underrated Skill in Business
A few weeks ago I wrote about being a source of certainty.
How?
By being consistent.
Think about it:
Would you rather work with someone who inconsistently puts out good work or someone who is reliable, even if sometimes mediocre?
Be the one who always delivers.
You’ll be trusted and respected.
Oh, and studies show that consistent action can produce better results.
So you can have your cake and eat it too.
Outsource Your Brain
Want to protect your mental bandwidth?
Outsource reminders.
Write them down - in a place you won’t need a reminder to check. I just open a new browser tab and type it in.
Also works for habits. I used to plan to start things… then forget… then remember three months later. Classic.
Now I make it a habit to set reminders. Somehow, not circular logic.
Example: I keep pushup handles on my desk. When I get up, I put them on my chair. Can’t sit down until I’ve done pushups.
Simple. Works every time.
The (Free) Skill That Can Fast-Track Your Career
There’s a skill that can help you move ahead in your career—and it won’t cost you penny.
Be a source of certainty.
People hate uncertainty. It takes up space in their brain. It stresses them out.
Of course, don’t be unreliable.
But go a step further: be so reliable that noone has to wonder if you’ll do the job on time.
How?
3 Ways:
Communicate early—and then remind. People forget. Life is busy. Don’t assume they remember your timeline.
Be consistent. Reputations are built on patterns, not one-offs.
Keep people updated. Never leave your boss, client, or colleague wondering what you’re up to. If they have to ask, you’re already behind.
In a world full of uncertainty, being a reliable constant is a competitive edge.
Idea from: https://ofdollarsanddata.com/become-an-uncertainty-killer/ Great blog btw.
Uncomfortable, Part 2
Discomfort is a skill.
Also: wildly underrated.
2 exercises:
Take a colder shower than you want.
Growth lives in that moment you hesitate… then turn the knob anyway.
Ask for a discount on coffee.
Easy in theory, not so much in real life.
For more, see this article.
uncomfortabl
The quality of your life is based on the number of difficult conversations you’re willing to have. - Tim Ferriss
Not eager to have; willing to have.
Being okay with discomfort is one of life’s key skills.
In the next post we’ll explore how to develop it.
Trial & Error
We think we shouldn’t start a project until we feel ready.
It’s normal.
However, the best way to learn is often through trial and error.
The most basic example is life itself.
We aren’t educated or prepared before birth.
We learn along the way.